didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
