they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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