she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize