A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
