She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
