actually, I'm a sock model
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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