My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
