We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
