guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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