I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize