so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
