Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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