did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
