Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
