Pregnant stripper...not hot.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize