My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
