Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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