My nipple is on Facebook.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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