He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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