IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Enjoy the penises
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
