I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
