he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
