highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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