my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
