Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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