Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
