I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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