last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
i think im in europe. pls send help
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
