Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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