And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She even gives head with a lisp.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
