You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize