This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
