I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
