Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
