Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Randomize