It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
