He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
