Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
