Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
