if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Dicks are not precious.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
