We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize