my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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