I think i peed on brittanys purse
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
