It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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