dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
