I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
