Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
