forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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