seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
