we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
