i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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