Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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