So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
