I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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