lets start a swedish sibling band together
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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