Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
