barbara walters just said penis...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
