I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
