I'm eating all of the evidence.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
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