The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I would fuck him just for his dog
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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