At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
