Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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