your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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