ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
