Define "chronic" masturbator.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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