I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize
