yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
