the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize