shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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