He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
