we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
