it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
