Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
