thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
