So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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