3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
