Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
